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Raven's Log
Stardate 9.16.04
"The world is not made for people cursed with self-awareness." - Susan Sarandon from Bull Durham.


Which is probably my single favorite movie line of all time, or at least the one that has the most resonance.

First of all, I want to thank everyone for all of the amazing birthday gifts. I finally went and picked them up yesterday at the post office. Yeah yeah, I know my birthday was a week ago, but I was waiting for late entries and, honestly, I've been playing poker so much that I really haven't had the time.

Raven's Log
Stardate 10.12.04
The entry continues. Holy crap, I am one lazy fuck.


I really hate writing. I think I'm pretty good at it, but I still hate it. Its not that I hate it, I don't mind it once I start, but there is so much else I would rather do instead. Writing is in my family gene pool. My father was senior editor of the National Enquirer and they only hired the best in the world, even if they were a rag. My grandmother's brother was Clifford Odets, America's greatest playwright, who, by the way, slept with both Cary Grant and Marilyn Monroe, not too shabby a pedigree, the top male and female studs of their era. Maybe that's where I get my sluttiness from. Regardless, I really hate writing.

Anyway, thanks to everyone, especially Barron Vangor Toth, Sarah Knight, Georgiann Lee, Jessica M, and everyone else who sent a gift. and our special thanks to our special winner for best gift, Lizzie.

Now, due to my debilitating laziness and overabundance of poker playing, I am way behind in reading the site. Between the poker and new TV season, I have been a very busy man. I am working on building a No Limit Hold' Em career and am looking for a sponsor to back me (hint hint). It is so much psychology and intelligence, which is what wrestling is, so it's really right up my alley. Me and Glenn (Disco) play all the time, but obviously, I'm much better. It is amazing how many people, especially critics, decry how bad television is and its probably never been better. My four all time favorite shows all came out in the last 3 years and one of them just came out this year. They are in no particular order:

24
Alias
nip/tuck
Rescue Me

And anybody who says they don't make shows like All In The Family or Mary Tyler Moore are obviously not watching these. TV is so great now. I love TV. I love my TiVo. Me and Mike Tenay were just discussing it the other day. I've been pestering him for months to get a TiVo and then he finally bought one 2 weeks ago and he is amazed how he ever survived without one. Mike Tenay prays to Allah everyday for the boon that he granted him in the way of TiVo. It would be like trying to breathe without oxygen. I want to punch every nerdy or geeky critics' face who says TV sucks. More new TV shows that are top shelf:

Desperate Housewives
Lost
Medical Investigation
Surreal Life with the ever increasingly bizarre Brigitte Nielsen
And You Don't Stop: 30 Years of Hip Hop
etcetera etcetera

Critics suck or the problem is, they don't get sucked. They need release. Onto the A/V Club.

Donnie Darko: Director's Cut

Didn't see the original cut, wanted to, missed it in the theatre, TiVo'ed it, but my TiVo cut it off (only got 60 hours y'know?). Anyhoo, the director's cut was at the theatre, so I went and saw it and let me say, it pissed me the fuck off. The finish sucked ass. Nothing worse than a bad finish. To compare it to a match: slow paced, 1970's style, not bad, they were telling a story, but they stayed in the headlock too long, the high spots were interesting enough to keep me entertained. However, the finish was a nonsensical screw job. One of those dealios where there is outside interference and the guy who isn't in the match gets pinned and the belt changes hands and you go, I'd like my eight dollars back, please.

You know what? unless you've already seen it and you liked it, dont bother wasting your money. Instead, see Criminal. that is the A/V choice. If you did enjoy Donnie Darko, the director's cut, I would like to know how and why and how much medication you were taking. I would also like you to explain to me the finish.

Back to Criminal.

It is an indie movie, produced by George Clooney and Steve Soderbergh, starring the rubber faced John C. Reilly. It is a brilliant movie about con men and the grift. It is about a bazillion times better than Matchstick Men starring Nicholas Cage, who I sometimes like and sometimes I don't. I would tell you more about it, but I dont want to ruin it, like most movie reviews. As a side note, I wouldn't mind reviewing movies for monetary compensation, so get to work people (hint hint). As you can tell, I'm far too lazy to do it myself (and I'm also too lazy to look up synonyms for lazy) and I feel if my loyal constituency does it, they will feel empowered, so I'm really doing it for them ... honestly ... aw, c'mon. whatever, pfft, anywho, the Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn didn't work out. one of my peeps actually had an in. the Colin Quinn people were interested. I sent em a tape, but they didn't get renewed for a 3rd season, those c**ksucking bastards.

Finally, I feel as if I've done a poor job the last month. I haven't written anything to you people. i haven't really read much of the site, which I will this week, yet you you all have done your part, so I will be more diligent and hard working (well, less lazy) and keep up and try to go back to at least one journal entry every 10 days and an A/V item every three weeks.

I recommend for your listening pleasure, Public Enemy's 20th Century Masters - The Millenium Collection, obviously track 1, "Welcome to the Terrordome" and track 3 and track 11, "Bring the Noize." I also recommend for your reading pleasure, Challengers of the Unknown Must Die, Challengers of the Unknown TPB by Loeb and Sale, yes, that Loeb and Sale of the Batman Dark Victory and Superman For All Seasons fame. This was their first comic collaboration and the first comic book Loeb ever wrote. He wrote screenplays prior, including Commando. Anyway, I dug up the back issues that they are now making into the TPB two years ago being a Loeb/Sale completist and of course this, like every other back issue I'm looking for and find ends up being turned into a TPB, which would've saved me the hassle and fun of back issue hunting.

Finally, finally, I am looking for a copy (CD) of the acoustic version of Wonderwall by Oasis. I believe it is the MTV one where the wrong brother sung because the other one was wacking off or something equally unimportant. If someone can burn me a copy, please send it to my P.O. Box and feel free to include whatever songs you think will float my boat and notify Vic, who will notify me.

Thanks,

"And remember, we didn't give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor." - Bluto Blutarsky

P.S. Hopefully, this long entry will make up for the last five weeks.


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