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Raven's Log Stardate: 11.04.04 "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need." - Mick Jagger; written for Marianne Faithful, his then-girlfriend, as their relationship was falling apart due to her addiction. She couldn't get what she wanted, which was the relationship, but she got what she needed, which was the heroin. I know I said I was gonna keep up with the site, but I lied. But it wasn't intentional. Sometimes when you're busy living life, life gets in the way. I was reading the blog on 'Raven Top 10 of All Time: Fact or Fiction.' Is that a blog? What's a blog? I'm assuming that's a blog. What's a blog stand for and who the hell would name it that? Anyway, whatever the hell it's called, that's what I was reading and that's how far behind I am and I will catch up. I mean, let's face it, I could probably catch up in 3 hours, so its not like it's a time consuming thing, it's just y'know ... life. It's not that I dont want to, because I do, I just dont want to read it when I'm not in the mood just to read it. I'd much rather read it and soak it in, so bear with me. Anyway, oddly enough, I digress. So I'm reading everyone's opinions about the top 10 thing (in case anyone had forgotten at this point) and, if I'm gonna be a realist and not to throw anyone under a bus, but as much as I'd love to build myself a case as a top tenner (not like Pavarotti, Domingo or the other guy) I really can't do it. I would love to, but come on, I can't in any sound judgment build a case for myself. I'd be happy to be a top hundreder in the history of the business, but if were talking about strictly current, I still can't build a case. Don't get me wrong, if I would've gotten a shot on top for WCW or WWE, I was eminently qualified and I would love to have been seen in that light, but that isn't ever gonna happen. Here is the incredibly important distinction: being qualified and qualifying are two entirely different things. The difference is one incredibly important piece of the equation that is opportunity. I was not that fortunate. I was fortunate enough to stay employed fulltime from day one in this business when fulltime employment was at an extreme minimum despite burning more bridges than the Oppenheimer project. I was fortunate enough to spend 2 years in Portland learning how to work 6 to 7 nights a week. I was fortunate enough to join ECW as they started to become one of the single most influential companies in the history of the business and was even more fortunate to leave as their influence waned dramatically where I was paid an enormous sum of money to sit in the front row and watch one of the single most compelling shows on television and drink beer ... and get drunk. I am fortunate enough to have a tremendous career that doesn't seem to be slowing down thanks to Jeff Jarrett keeping me employed. So, no, I don't think I qualify to be a top tenner in any way shape or form. Now, if things would've been different, I think I could've. My athleticism can definitely be questioned, but I still believe you talk 'em into the seats. Hogan's still the best, or at least the richest. Hey, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need. Before I get off my own dick, the one thing I do believe I did that no one else did that I should get credit for was in creating a fully developed three-dimensional character with flaws, foibles, fears, humanity, depravity and depth. I tried to create a psychological profile to explain his behavior, a past that informs everything he does, but worse, a past he can't escape. Everyone else, besides later incarnations of Mick Foley, are pretty much shades of 1 or 2 dimensions. Most are cookie cutter characters with the depth of a wading pool. I just thought it would be much more interesting to have this character so scarred from childhood that it infected himself and everything he touched; that every behavior he did was predictable, even in its unpredictability. The sad thing about it though, was that art imitated life, then unfortunately, life imitated art. The darker I made the character based on myself, the deeper I dragged myself down. It reminded me of a quote of an actor my grandmother's brother directed and slept with, Cary Grant (the relative is Clifford Odets, the playwright), "I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be and finally, I became that person, or he became me." The process began in junior high, but it didn't reach its full gestation until I created the Raven character. Whew. Fuck, I'm sick of listening to me talk about me. I was at the TNA tapings the other day and one of the crew members brought up the Donnie Darko journal entry. He and I discussed it for a bit of time and, after listening to his points of view, it still makes no fucking sense. Why would the rabbit make him leave his house and not get killed, but he just goes back and gets killed again? It would at least make sense if the rabbit didn't run over his girlfriend and get shot in the eye. Knowing that, why would the rabbit tell him to leave the house? Fucking idiotic. I was reading E.W. (Entertainment Weekly, which those of us in the know call it) and they buried Heather Graham on Scrubs, but put over Zach Braff's brother character. How backwards is that? His brother is a one note annoying bastard, while Heather Graham fits in like she's been there since the beginning of the show, which is the exact opposite of what these moronic critics said. I would like to get a job critiquing critics. I would review critics' works and critique their critiques. Only problem is, who would pay me? Somebody get Ted Turner on the blower. I'm happy for Ben Affleck and Dennis Leary, although I've never actually met either of them, I've always enjoyed them in everything they've done, except for Affleck in that movie Bennifer -- that just dragged and dragged and never went anywhere. Anyhow, they've gotta be ecstatic that the Red Sox curse has been lifted because they are from that shit hole Beantown and, the way I figure, anybody cursed having to grow up there deserves something. I want to thank those people who sent me CD's with the acoustic versions of Wonderwall, However, not to sound ungrateful, but damn, that wasn't the one I wanted. I heard it on 96 Rock in Atlanta numerous times, had a flunky call the station, but the phones were busy, so I never figured where that version came from. I'm assuming I need an acoustic version where the actual correct singer sings as opposed to the writer/guitar player who sung on the MTV version because the singer was wacking off in the closet. "Vandenberg is a fat atheistic moron, but those are his good qualities" - A snippet from one of the 17 phone calls daily between Raven and Vandy.
P.S. Stevie Richards, how dare you zing the boss? For that, I have to go on record as saying, in all honesty, you were the worst lackey ever. Not only that, but Hammer and Reese were ten times the worker you'll ever be. Hugs and kisses.
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