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Raven's Log
Stardate: 12.4.04
Descartes walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, 'Would you like another?' He says, 'I think not,' and immediately, he disappears - BWAHAHAHA
You helmet jobbing bastards. I can't believe you crapped on my helmet. Part of me is wounded, wounded, I tell you. But the other part is quite proud. I'm so pleased that you people are thinking for yourselves and not just being a bunch of sycophants. Because the last thing I want is a bunch of yes men on me and Vic's site. If something sux, you should say it sux, even if it is the boss' (meaning me). I admire your honesty, integrity and courage. However, you're all fired. I like my helmet. That's all that matters and you people can go fuck yourselves. Between the movie Troy, Alexander and The Lord of the Rings, hopefully I've caught the zeitgeist. Or at least something treatable BWAHAHAHA. Anycrap, I've been getting more CD's in the mail. Thank you very much, but still, much to my chagrin, not the correct Wonderwall. It is acoustic, but not the MTV Unplugged version. In the version I like, Liam is singing, not his brother, Noel. Just say Noel heh heh. Also, if you're going to send me CD's, don't send current music because I don't like it and I don't want you to waste your time. Also, please label your music or you're almost guaranteed that I won't listen to it. If you want to put why you want me to listen to the songs, that is hunky dory with me.
The other day, I was reading the sheets, the dirt sheets, the stooge sheets, the rags, the ... you get the point and I read a very interesting article done by this guy Gutterball, or Gutterman or something like that. He talked a lot about how he doesn't want to be Chicken Little and say the sky is falling and how he would much rather put over the business, how he loves the business, but when the business is doing poorly, he feels it's his job to criticize in the hopes that the situation will be rectified. As you know, I have absolutely no problem with critics or criticism as long as its from a position of love and knowledge of the medium. I believe him and I think he cares about the business. I don't think hes a doomsayer. I've read some of his other stuff and I think he's passionate in his love for the business. He made excellent points all the way through and then, at the very end, he showed why he and most other critics, as well as most smart marks who think they are experts in the sport, are summarily dismissed by bookers, veterans and others of that ilk by writing something so stupid, so inane that it completely ruined everything that came before it. He said Ultimo Dragon should be pushed as a major superstar. If you don't understand why this is not only laughable, its idiotic, then you are a big fucking mark and a big fucking moron and have no business commenting on how to run a company. Now in Ultimo Dragon's defense, I will say he's an amazing athlete and an amazing acrobat but, and this but is so monstrous and so unbelievably important, it cannot be understated. He cannot talk. He cannot talk, period. End of discussion.
If you can't talk, you can't draw money and you can't be a top guy. Simple as that. People always thought that I have a problem with high spotkateers. I don't. In fact, I'm very entertained by their stuff. Unfortunately, the majority of them can't talk and that is why they'll always be relegated to a certain position on the card. The forerunner to today's high spotkateer matches were the Rock N Roll Express vs The Midnight Express, and if Ricky Morton and Jim Cornette couldn't have talked, they never would've been the main eventers that they were. Maybe your hardcore fans will pay to see two guys wrestle who can't talk, but you certainly aren't drawing casual fans, which is who you need to sustain a full scale national promotion. Every major draw could talk. Hell. most couldn't work, but it didn't really matter. Talking is what draws & that's why Hogan and Austin drew the most money. I'm not saying Austin couldn't work because he could, but that ain't what people paid to see. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, Goldberg and 'The Crow' Sting are the only examples that come to mind. One was a jacked up, freaky looking, larger than life killing machine which the promotion had destroy everyone in such short order and was booked so perfectly that it would've been inexcusable if he didn't draw. Sting's character traded on years of push and exceptional charisma to a mute Crow ripoff and, once again, perfect booking, but these are the exceptions, not the rule. In fact, look at Scott Steiner. The more his body broke down and his work began to suffer, the more charismatic and a draw he became. He went from a wrestling machine as one of the Steiner Brothers, who were over but not draws, to the freakazoid Big Poppa Pump who would've been a monster draw if WCW wasn't going down the tubes. Holler if you hear me.
Hey, Konnan and I can't stand each other, but I promise you this; as mediocre as his workrate is, if you give him mic time and put him in a singles program and let him talk, people are definitely gonna pay to see him. He is amazing on the microphone and that's what this business is all about, not eighty cool moves in a row and who can do the most acrobatics. It's who can put asses in seats and talking is how its always been done and always will be done.
Meltzer wrote an article recently about how bleak the future of the business is and how it was financially worse in '93 and '94, but there was so much different stuff on the horizon to be copied from hardcore to invasion angles etcetera that there were a ton of avenues open. Now he says, there are no new ideas and he's scared. I say, scared of what? There is one tried and true method that has always worked and always will work to get people to pay money to see wrestling: talk them into the seats. Get heat and have the babyface and heel cut blistering promos. I promise you put the right people in the right spots and people will pay to see it. Now, no offense to Ultimo Dragon, he's a phenomenal athlete but that doesn't mean he deserves to be a main eventer just like thirty or so other guys I've read about in the sheets for years who couldn't talk, but were flippy floppers who you moron smart marks thought could draw money because you don't know jack shit. You really think if Ric Flair couldn't talk, he would be the greatest of all time? What about Shawn Michaels? Hey, they'd still be talented, but come on. It wasn't the workrate, they talked us into the seats.
Jake Roberts and Michael Hayes could talk me into any building anywhere. You know what, they were so damn good, they could stink the joint out and still talk me right back into the building the following week. That's fucking talent.
My apologies to Ultimo Dragon, this is not a shot at him. It's a shot at all the moron smart marks.
P.S. Everyone thinks that the big draws in TNA are the flippity floppers. well guess what? I just did FOX AM Atlanta, which is an Atlanta morning show and they handed me the list of matches for this Sunday's PPV. It was in order of the fans' interest as picked by the fans on TNA's website poll. Guess what the top two matches were? The Hall and Nash Jarrett match and the DDP/Raven match. No high spotkateers in there. No flippity floppers, even though everyone says that is the main thing our audience wants to see. I guess its star power and how do you get star power? Mic skills. The defense rests.
P.P.S. I was at the gym doing cardio on Monday and I flipped channels and I caught the interview with the Arab guys. I don't care what anybody says, I love that gimmick. It's tremendous because they have a point. That's what makes great heels; when they have a valid point and then they take it too far. It reminds me of Bret Hart's last heel run in New York as far as having a point of view. Whether they have the goods to back it up, who knows? I don't watch the show. but I'm glad I caught that couple of minutes. I really don't see what all the fuss is about, I don't see how they're being insensitive because I know Arab people that feel they're being persecuted and all wrestling does is reflect the culture. If CSI did it, everyone would say, "ooh, how timely," but since wrestling did it, "shame on you!"
P.P.P.S. Send Christmas gifts
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