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Dear Fan People
The following is the blog and consists of a feature (The Auction) we had stopped long ago b/c of . . . . editor’s(wife) note; b/c you got greedy and burned out the market. Now apologize to the nice fans. I’m sorry. -- Is the wife gone, sassa-fras-a, lucky for her, she’s gorgeous, and smart and cooks and cleans and takes care of me and uh . . . anyway, the auction items for this month are, a pair of Raven’s wrestling boots, and (a fine antique periodical from the beginning of Raven’s run in Portland, pictures of mullet included gratis (that means free . . . at least I think it does. I don’t speak Latin, I only speak Sanskrit, Aramaic, and Pig Latin,(which is what all of Caesar’s beat cops spoke). The periodical starts at below face value. Since last year there were complaints of no low priced items, we will start the bidding at 1$. Obviously the boots are a little more pricey, b/c the Smithsonian was clamoring for them, and it’s not like I wore them out and went through too many pairs of them. I always felt it was a measure of my kindness, and generosity, to allow my friends to share in the glory, to take the heroic beatdowns as I bravely orchestrated our opponent’s downfall (editor’s note; I mean this in the nicest possible way, but honey, laziness is not synonymous with kindness). Thbptt*, I say to her. I led a veritable A-team of Roughnecks, Brain Surgeons, and Champions of Depravity into the darkest and warped adventures. There was the muscle, and yet breakout comedic ways of the taciturn, but Danny and Sandy musical “Grease” loving Saturn. Wherever you are, I wish you well and call me. Next is someone who should be wrestling for someone, and not just sweaty men in a bathhouse. He is, the only person on planet Earth with the same birthday as the Boss, a former, world class, scoop Scrabble player**, the most Belligerent man alive and heir to the Toad family fortune, the one and only, Lodi. Of course the last man needs no introduction. So we won’t give him one . . . just kidding. He is the pioneer of flunkydom, the innovator of servitude, the Johnny Carson of henchmen, the lackey’s lackey and the only sidekick to have his own personal sidekicks, a close personal friend who deserves a push more than nearly anyone in the business and a great guy to boot (bwahahaha, to boot), he is little Stevie Richards, the Perfect Weapon, Esquire. With what we’ve been through together, these three deserve what meager profits these boots will make, and I want you to think of that when you decide whether to bid or not, or how much, or how much to outbid someone else, or how to bid so high you truly show these sterling middle aged warriors that their sacrifices to entertain you, and protect the Boss weren’t in vain. Do not let the fact that these gallant and courageous gladiators’ pride would never let them except money for something I wore influence your bidding. They would want you to spend thousands of dollars on me . . in admiration of them. Don’t let them be the only ones who can truly appreciate the magnanimity of my altruism. The boots start at 200$
Ed.’s note: These are the hi-tecs The Boss switched to when he realized that the Doc Martins he’s been wrestling in weren’t nearly as comfortable as he was led to believe. In fact they were downright, ungodly painful. Anyway, he’s gone through numerous hi-tecs in his career and these are one of them. He doesn’t know which one, other than they aren’t the ones he wears in the ring now.
Media Newspaper
This is an issue that retailed for $2 in 1989 of the North West Media periodical. It came magazine-style format in lovely black and white and green newsprint. Actually, the 3rd color changed per issue, and no the 3rd color was neither white nor black. Yes I agree, it might look visually appealing if you were to make the paper green, white, and perhaps, magenta, or mauve, but such was not the case. This particular issue features a fascinating, hard hitting, and in depth article with the Boss, accompanied by an exciting picture.
There is also some drivel about other assorted nabobs, knuckleheads, and nutjobs. It is 23 pages chock full of informative stuff and a bargain at any price. The word search alone is worth at least $8 while inside the copy of a typical Late to Mid 60s Era Card is a steal for what this auction begins at. The picture of the Boss alone, fresh off his stint with New Kids On The Block after being unceremoniously removed for rear naked choking Jordan, with his short hair, tuxedo jacket, bow tie, suspenders, no shirt, and old-school Oakleys, along with a bouquet of flowers sticking out of his pants is a memory one can truly treasure for a lifetime.
There is also an article on my friend Nord the Barbarian, who if you’ve never seen his video “A Day In The Life” I highly recommend you seek it out. It’s absurd in that Kafkaesque, minimalist, freeform style he was so famous for. As a sidebar, Nord had always told me in those random quiet moments alone as we circled the Portland Airport at 5am too high for him to get outta the car and me too high to go home he would say in that Nord sorta way, his tone of voice echoing with his Minnesota twang as only he could “If I shaved my beard, I’d look just like Paul Newman.”
There is a little fluff piece on Brian Adams who died tragically recently and who I only bring up because he was such a truly nice individual. He always tried to make me feel like I fit in, even though I didn’t, and he and his wife used to have me over for dinner in Portland. He was so low on what has become a business wide dead pool, I never thought he’d go at such an early age. He was one of the funniest guys in the locker room and I always thought he’d be one of the last to pass away.
He was always smarter than us when it came to partying. He knew, b/c this happened with amazing and alarming regularity, that at about 5am that somebody would be going to get “more medication.” I always wanted more b/c partly, it was fun, at least the first 20 minutes. Then the coke made it so I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t get an erection, couldn’t shut up, cost a fortune and finally made me feel if I stopped taking it, I’d be so miserable, I’d be in hell .In every sense of the word, it was a stupid, stupid drug that I found I continually ran back to, until I got the balls to quit. He was never that stupid. I always admired him because at about 430 am he would slip out the door without telling anyone. Most people think it’s rude to leave a party, or a gathering without saying goodbye. It wasn’t mean, it was just simply anytime, anyone tried to leave, everyone would go, “c’mon, stick around” and it’s hard to leave when nobody will let you and part of you doesn’t want to anyway. The next day at the arena I would always say, why’d you leave, and he’d say, “as much as I wanted to stay, I wanted to get a workout, or this or that done” but basically he knew better, and he never belittled you for your choices. Maybe that’s why it’s such a tragedy. When so many people, myself included, chop off somebody’s legs to make themselves feel taller, he never had to. He may have been 6’6”, but he was 8ft tall to me.
His slipping away always stuck in my head, and to this day, when I need to leave any situation where everyone’s drinking and they say it’s ending in 15 minutes, but you know that means an hour, when I need to leave any uncomfortable, aggravating or shit place I don’t want to be, I think of him, and I slide out. That way since I’m sober, it’s not clumsy, and you don’t run the risk of offending anyone if they don’t know you’re gone. Mainly that awkward thing is eliminated and at this stage of my life, that’s one thing I can thank Brian for teaching me to leave behind
For your perusal, the website Eccentricgenius.ca. It is awesome, but somehow the Boss can’t get a hook-up, a newsletter, correspondence, or a way to purchase this cat’s product. If anyone got a way to get me an in, or if they know of similar, let the Boss know.
Check out Stygiandarkness.com. The artist is spectacular and the Boss has some of his pieces framed on his wall.
Bico.com, is a jewelry company in Australia that the Boss buys some of his jewelry from, and Liquidblue.com is where the Boss gets some of his shirts from.
World War Hulk, is where it’s at, but the best thing I read all year, and you can get it in Tpb’s is The Annihilation Wave. If I mentioned it last month, shame on you for not buying it. If I didn’t mention it, shame on me for not.
I will be in Australia Oct 19-27, see the venues elsewhere on the site.
I know there were mucho complaints that I just ignored, b/c I was lazy, last year about getting merchandise out timely, but the Boss is on the case this year and shit is rolling out like ex-lax. Seriously, stuff is going out within a week or two of being ordered. Yay for me.
Finally, you guys do what you want, and legally I can’t recommend anything, but I was supposed to be at the chiller convention in Parsippany N.J. along with Sylar from Heroes and Painkiller Jane this upcoming weekend and was booked through a charity organization. Not only did the guy running it cancel us, he never even told us. He cancelled a booth that is run by a charity organization, without even contacting them they were cancelled. Finally, today Tuesday, 3 days before the event, the charity decided they were screwed without hope. This is Bullshit. Bad enough, they don’t have the balls to tell you you’re cancelled, but to do it to charity. Well, I wonder if this deed will go unpunished ?
The Boss . . . . streaming parcels of knowledge from the Bleed with Quantum Jenny and the Midnighter
*Thpbtt- Bill the Cat’s catchphrase from Bloom County
**Scoop scrabble- playing scrabble and being forced to take a scoop of G.H.B. between words.
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