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Raven's Blog | September 28, 2008
Ladies and Gentleman, here is the blog
first of all, hello, and welcome to the muppet show, yaaaaaaay.
good news,we are making major changes to the site. we are going to overhaul the look, so it will appear in the same vein as the intro page and i think you will like it. we are gonna lose all the stuff that i am sure drives you nuts, like when it says we have an item for sale, but its sold out and the picture stays up for 6 months. we are gonna remove all the crap that is past its selling date; like when we say hot news item, and its listed for february but we are in august. its like we are selling front row tickets to the revolutionary war, and vietnam is just star ting up.
it is as much mine as it is anybody's fault for all this b/c i have not been watching over things like i should. we are gonna fix that. also its lucky vic is a graphics machine b/c he has built some kickass new graphics. we came up with some great ideas, and hopefully we have it set up where if something isnt a new headline, it wont be front and center sucking up space 3 months after its come and gone. other new stuff; i have opened an ebay store. the address is stores.ebay.com/theraveneffectcom. i will be selling all kinds of crap. yes, crap, come and get your crap. no, i wont really be selling crap,that would be ridiculous. sorry to disappoint you sir. we will, however, be selling all sorts of interesting stuff including pieces from my personal museum of comicdom. why you ask, why would i be selling my much worshipped stuff? was i forced too sell it at gunpoint while hung over a balcony by suge knight as ice, ice, baby played in the background? no, not at all. some of it has been on display for 10 years and its time to go. some of it i have acquired duplicates of and i dont really need 2 of most anything, except maybe arms and legs. i dont need 2 penises, although i did have a friend with 5 penises who interestingly enough, his pants fit like a glove. now since i have 200+ statues, 100 or so pieces of art, nearly 20,000 comics, plus a multitude of stuff that i personally dont have any use for (although one man's something is another man's something or other), coupled with the fact my collecting jones hasnt diminished, i decided to be just like mr miyagi and his banzai plant. i will be trimming away the dead branches of my collection and teaching daniel-san what a yoot is. see, daniel-san, was sort of a young troublemaker type, rotting in jail while his, i mean my cousin vinny (his uncle joe pesci) was trying to get him off . . . no, not with a hand job, but legally. yes i know hand jobs are legal, whatever. anyway, joe pesci in his mangled brooklynese was trying to explain to the judge (played brilliantly by herman the munster) that "the youth in question" (daniel-san) was actually a karate expert or something and the judge replied back, "what's a yoot?" but i digress. or as gordon solie used to say, "digression is the better part of valor". actually, what he really said was "discretion is the better part of valor", which at this moment is neither here nor there. i also have for ebay at some point in the future (not like the far flung future where there will be flying cars and shit) half a dozen tvs, tivos, as well as more clothes than most chicks i've known. many of them wrestling related that i was either given at ppv's or wore on tv. unfortunately for you. but probably fortunately for some homeless guy, a lot of the tshirts i wore on tv, the o nes with the rock bands, were given to goodwill. in fact, there's probably some sterno bum the envy of his cocktail hour amigos b/c he is sporting a cult tshirt under his trenchcoat. the wrestling related stuff we will be auctioning off on the actual raveneffect site like the old days. who knows, what i'll sell, i own an electric chair, a 1700's antigue fireplace,an indonesian throne, and the lair chair. yes, the"lair chair" i had built and used in tna, which currently has a standing asking price of 5000$. i got scotty flamingo actionwear (wrestling tights and ring jackets), and i got . . . . i got alot. i am a friggin pack rat, and i got me the pack rat blues. too bad i cant play a harmonica. next business: in october and november i am booked all over the map and we will be getting the schedule out asap. my movie with the fabulous insane clown posse just came out and it is awesome. its called "death racers" and is not to be confused with jason statham's movie. ours has raven and clowns, the re-unification of the deadpool minus vampiro. whats not to love. my other movie "sleepers" which could be really big in a low budget horror kinda way is in final post production. the full trailer is done and the link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buytCeTgxX4we will be going to the afm, the american film market to shop it. if things go well, we will end up in sundance at the sundance film festival, which would be really fucking cool . . . i mean it snows there, its gotta be prety cool right? what a stroke of luck that the sundance film festival ended up being located in sundance. very fortuitous, i must say.
the fan club: there have been whispers, rumours, and the like, but here she is, in all her magnificent glory. the fan club is finally here. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, i have been asked to start one for years, and i have been very hesitant b/c i was on the road too much. with a much saner schedule now, where i am calling all my own shots and not beholden to a company, i think it is high time to finally give the people what they want. or at least give some of the people what they want. i mean you cant give all the people what they want, or we would just have chaos . . . and muck and filth. and puppet porn, and insomnia, and firetrucks. i am actually really looking forward to this, to interacting with my fans, and it works for one simple reason; i work best under deadlines. huh? what i mean is, is the chat rooms, the personal questions, etc, b/c of a deadline, i will be there to do these things on time. this will give me a chance to interact with my fandom, and b/c i am a stickler for meeting deadlines, this will ensure it happens. there wont be any of raven was supposed to be at the chatroom but missed it b/c he was busy watching giant fake rubber, godzilla porn. deadlines have an interesting effect on me. i always make them; if at all possible. to see a fabulous list of what we are offering, click on this button and you will be magically transported to a lovely place where birds will sing and i'll float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. and there will be a half-mad carnie barker with a lilting voice telling you what you get for joining. well at the very least, you will be taken to a page with info. here is the button i think you'll like it. i really think you'll like what we are offering. one caveat: i am sure there will occasionally be a changing of time or day, but on the whole, with my brilliant wife's mad scheduling skills, you should have no concerns of my no-showing. i dont do it in the ring, i dont intend to do it here. and i will refund any who are unhappy if i dont keep up my end of the bargain. so there it is. tonight's blog. i enjoyed it, and i hope you kids did as well. remember, with the election just around the corner, vote early and oftenraven
ps/ a very good friend of mine directed an hysterical video for funn y or die and you should watch it and vote funny. the link is http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8f53e461dc it is extremely funny.
Here's more info on the Fan Club:
FAN CLUB:
Level 1 or Dancing Stevie level
9.99 monthly fee
25% off all merch while valid member **
1 personal picture free, fan club members only ( unique Raven at home type 8x10)
Access to monthly chat session
Level 2 or Lodi Level
19.99 monthly fee
30% off all merch while valid member **
1personal picture free every Month
You can email Raven 1 personal question each month, independent of the chat
room (so no waiting) and he will answer it within a week
Access to monthly chat session
Level 3 or Saturn Level
29.99 monthly fee
50% off all merch while valid member **
2 personal pix free every month
You can email Raven 2 personal question each month, independent of the chat
room (so no waiting) and he will answer it within a week
Access to monthly chat session
2 Free Tix to an Indy S
how in your Area ***
** excluding auction and S&H
*** Raven makes no guarantees that he will wrestle in your area. It is up to you
the fan club member to attend a show, to cash in on this huge prize. If Raven
never wrestles in your area or you are unable to make it where he will be
performing, the prize becomes null and void. Raven hopes that everyone
who is Saturn Level does see him perform for Free !
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